Maggie McCann Pike

HAIR-RAISING, PURE AND SIMPLE

The greens and golds and purples of the clipper sails that divide the beauty stalls were not as vibrant as they would be out on a glistening lake or an undulating ocean. That should have been my first clue. Nor were the scents as appealing as the salty sprays of the sea, or of nature at all. Instead, hairspray. Shampoo. Chemicals. And the stylist on duty? Her hair was unhealthy and unstyled: dull locks hanging lifeless, topped by a teased shelf. Her calling card.

It was an omen, and I missed it.

I’m trying my best not to mention the name of the salon. But, the thing is, I was trying to save money. With my senior discount, I could get my quarterly trim for $10.00. Yes, I confess. I was cheating on my expensive stylist at Skye Salon, but for the price difference, and just once or twice, did it really matter?

Yes. Yes it did. This is what I looked like when I went in. Just like my Facebook picture. I should’ve come out looking pretty much the same, right? How hard is it?

Maggie McCann Pike

She used all the right words, she really did: blending, layers, styling. So imagine my surprise when she pulled out the comb and started ratting my hair. Ladies, when was the last time you teased your hair? For me, 1967. And imagine my surprise when she said she was finished and held up the mirror. It was just a longer version of her own hairstyle! I gulped.

I bore a striking resemblance to a Dr. Seuss tree.

I present these lookalikes with only a trace of hyperbole.

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Well, I tried to live with it for a few weeks. I flattened the top, curled other parts, did everything I could to be able to live with this 1980s’ backwoods hairstyle. I even tried do some cutting repairs myself, but I have to tell you, Maggie playing with scissors is not a pretty picture. It only got worse. Finally, I called Danielle, my stylist from Skye, and with my tail between my legs, walked in capped in this frightful disaster of a do and begged her to “just fix it.”

“Oh dear,” says she. “It looks like someone forgot to connect the parts.” Whatever that means. Danielle connected the parts and told me to come back in four-to-six months when it had grown out sufficiently for her to really do something.

So now I look eerily like Ramona Quimby.

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Please don’t bother trying to make me feel better. I appreciate your efforts, but it’s futile. Hats and paper bags are my only recourse.

It’s been hair-raising, pure and simple, but in a few months, this will all be water under the bridge. I hope.

copyright 2015 Maggie McCann Pike

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Maggie McCann Pike

I’m an author in Denver, Colorado, where I write from my office, which looks out onto the Rocky Mountains and the breathtaking sunrises and sunsets that splash their colors across unsuspecting skies. My first three books sprang from my experience as mom of five, retreat director, and educator. Now retired from full-time work outside the home, I have the luxury of tapping into different chambers within myself. In addition to memoirs, I now write various forms of creative nonfiction.

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2 thoughts on “HAIR-RAISING, PURE AND SIMPLE

  1. Kathy Root

    this is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. What a way with words you have. This is definitely a “hair razing” adventure. Good luck with your next trip to the hair stylist.

  2. Jan cheselske

    Hi Maggie, so sorry about the hair disaster. Lucky it does grow. I know for a fact that in 49 years of hairdressing I have ruined about 5. These were not fixable . Only grow out can remedy these situations. There have been a hand full of near misses. Believe me the Hair dresser does feel bad when she blows it.. when you have your hair cutter, stick with them. Well ,you found that out . A trick would be, since you don’t have your regular style, embrace this different look and don’t try to make it look like a shorter version of what you are used to. Maybe use some different products. Also ,go to the makeup counter at your favorite department store and have a makeover. Don’t feel pressured to buy products. Just try to see yourself as someone else might see you. You might pick up a few new techniques to use in your regular makeup routein . Please forgive my spelling. I have other talents

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